Bertrand Russell's Why I Am Not a Christian was in the 3 for 2 offer at Waterstone's today - Hurrah! I swiftly found two other books to complete the trio. One I read a review of in the Saturday Review and made a note to look for it - The Kingdom of Infinite Space by Raymond Tallis - because Chris and I were having (once again) the very same discussion last week: is our soul/self in our heads or not, why does it feel like it is and if we have a centre is it in fact in our brains. I believe our consciousness is in every cell in our body - including emotions, memories, decisions etc - but yet feel very much "in my head". Probably because I think so much and most of my day is taken up with mental hikes of emotion, ideas, creativity, philosophy, stupidity and, physically, I do very little. So hopefully reading this will make sense of that internal paradox. Or I'll discover my soul actually resides in a currently unexplored region of my self, like my duodenum (I've loved that word and body part ever since A&P: The Digestive System).

T'other book was Jeremy Paxman's The English, the title of which keeps making me do a second take because I'm convinced it says 'Englsih'....shiny lettering playing tricks on me. Anyway, I thought as I'm moving countries and may need some sense of my own nationalism despite being prepared to wholeheartedly embrace the American life and identify myself and family as such, I best educate myself on who the English actually are. I want to know my roots, my....Good Lord, am I really going to say this....my people and have a solid knowledge on what makes the English what they are and when some half-wit tries to tell me what the English are all about again, I can hold my own. I'm not usually one for divisions of people and have yet to get my head round the reasons behind accents and differing beliefs and languages (is there something in the water or what?) but I don't want to lose my past or not be able to tell my all-American kids what being English is and means. I never had a sense of heritage, not knowing my family's roots (or indeed my family) but want to make sure my kids do, especially as it'll be dual.

Finished Eclipse last night, the third installment of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga, and I found it extremely comforting. It may just be fiction, but art reflects life and knowing that Bella, even with her intense, beyond-all-boundaries-and-Earthly-measurements love for Edward, can still feel love for another. I've always believed a human heart is too big, or should be, to hold just one person in it, and you should love as often and as strongly as you can. Embrace whoever graces your life, because whether you've had dozens or none, love is always a blessing and shouldn't be treated dismissively. So, yes, even though Bella and Edward's love is the crazy, truly powerful kind that can bridge species, it's nice to know that even that doesn't stop her loving others. It's almost as if the safety in the knowledge of such love gives you the freedom to use your heart more openly. Because if it does get bruised, there'll always be that constant there, that one person who will love you without condition or cessation. "Love feels like safety, that you've got everything covered; no stress, no fear." Robert Carlyle knows what I mean.