Oh!

Finished Island of the Blue Dolphins yesterday. It's the kind of book you can return to year after year, it's so transporting. Beautifully simple, narrated so that you are instantly seeing the island and the world through Karana's eyes and thoughts. I found it so inspiring the way she teaches herself, and survives off her own courage and persistence. She adapts so well, finding enjoyment, friends, learning about the inherent love in animals, crafting things for necessity and pleasure. Makes plans, sometimes working through many seasons to see the fruits of her labours. No rush, no defeatism - just pure determination and inner-faith. A true heroine. I adore her.

I want to go first

I don't want to be left behind.

Isn't that the most incredibly selfish thing?

Eisenhower Library

Yesterday I arrived at the library on Eisenhower at 11.30 and found a little desk against the window at the back and settled down with some poetry. Then I got on with writing and rewriting some stuff. 'Crystal Lantana' got a third rewrite, totally stripped down. The first couple of stanzas went down from 30 words to 16. I think it's better, but I could be wrong. When you've sat with a poem for hours you stop being able to see it from a distance and this can hinder you. I keep rewriting it because I know it can be good, the bare bones of it I love.

First time I looked at my watch it was 2.15! Was gutted time had gone so quick, but happy it'd gone so peacefully. I didn't even hear it pass.

I am going to go back next Wednesday, and the Wednesday after that and the.... It was so good to just work and not have 10,000 interruptions or distractions. Once weekly doesn't feel enough but it will be for now. When Bingle goes to school I can go more often.

Complete Twat

I may have overreacted slightly, but the whole stress of the situation just overwhelmed me and I couldn't hold back the tears. Plus I was gutted I'd lost the little cards from my sister and the last of my savings.
As I got my bag ready to leave for the big Curry Ingredients Spree I looked at the savings in my wallet that I'd put in for yesterday's estate sale and thought "I should really leave that at home" but ended up not, and taking it all out with me.
I did my own thing in Meijer while Bob and Butch got some kitchenware to make a big elaborate curry, Indian soup and naans for this evening. I paid for my stuff, got rushed by the Chinese woman behind me whose box of cereal was hurtling towards me before I'd even started packing my bag (self-scan with conveyer belts - not a good idea with impatient ppl), had a quick slurp at the water fountain on the way out and went and sat in the truck and talked to Mike about Marilyn Monroe. Bob and Butch weren't back yet so I figured I had time to nip back in the store and have a wee (yes, you are going to get every detail because this still feels like one big drama that I have to release for any real sense of closure). As I put my eyeliner back in my bag I thought "This feels light, where's my....shit!!!" My wallet wasn't in my bag. Flew to the Customer Service desk, pushing in to ask if anyone had handed in a green wallet. She looked in a little cupboard and said no. Checked the conveyor belt - not there. Asked the bloke standing at the self-scan helpdesk - no. Really trying not to panic but really starting to panic. Went to the truck to see if it was in there or my bag of shopping. Ran back to the Customer Service desk to ask again. Bloke had a dozy look through that box, "Nah. You can check back later." I thought he would ask for my details so he could contact me if it got handed in but he didn't.
I then started crying because of the aforementioned keepsakes and savings and it kept upsetting me that someone had my pictures of Jake. My three strapping young men asked for security while I literally digged in bins, sure that all I needed to do was find it, it was lying somewhere waiting for me and it would be okay. If someone had taken the money, they'd have just dumped the rest, like last time. The security woman came up and said she'd check the tapes but not to get my hopes up because if it's been taken then I'm not gonna see it again. From what she said, she didn't think much of Ypsilanti folk. Anyway, she checked the tapes, said she saw the Chinese woman with her box of cereal, but there was no wallet in the packing area, from what she could see. Which was sort of a relief, as that might mean I'd just misplaced it, instead of it being stolen. Except we'd looked everywhere.
So I thanked her and left to go cancel my bank and library card.
As we pulled up outside the house, Bob's mum came out on the phone and it was the security lady at Meijer - the purse had been handed in at the Customer Service desk! She said she'd checked the tapes again and could see it on the floor (well done me) and a Meijer guy had seen it and handed it in. I was like, I asked there twice! Bloody useless. So happy though. I was really torturing myself for being such a ditsy twat.
So, phew, happy ending. I might get it sewn into my right arm to avoid another escapade.

Curry was lovely :)

Just keep swimming...

Just testing the ability to upload pics on here. When I've tried it with web-based photos it's not worked.
"No hurling on the shell dude, ok? Just waxed it." :)

Ann Arbor Art Fair 2009

So we did get to the 50th Ann Arbor Art Fair - the oldest and largest art fair in the country. There was some great stuff but all quite highly priced. I like pretty bowls just as much as the next man, but I wouldn't pay $500 for one. There was one exhibit with dogs in the paintings and I was like "awwwww" and gravitated towards them til I noticed they were sat in cocktail glasses with bits of olive and cherry round them. "Eugh I don't like them!" I yelled and swerved away, but not before I was shot a dirty look and an audible "harrumph" from the lady keeping the stall. The artist? Maybe. Eeek. Well they were grim. Why would I want a painting of a Westie in cocktail glass?
There were some great Musical Theatre collages which drew me from across the street - the Rent one in particular - but on closer inspection the original art was a bit crappy and the most interesting bits were the shots of the shows. Then Bob joined me and said "Your Rent collage is better than that" so I decided yeah, I can make my own Wicked collage and not have to fork out $50. Got a lovely little ring for my right hand. Since my so-called Whitby Jet ring fell apart, I've been on the hunt for a nice replacement and was perusing some black stoned rings priced at around $14 but the silver was all dull and they didn't go with my still shiny pentagram and snake. Then I spotted a small circular stone that looked dark but had a red tint in the light...like a phial of blood so I tried that one and whaddaya know? a perfect fit. It didn't have a tag so I asked the lady how much and she said "the ones not tagged are $8." Sold! Very happy, and I've since noticed it's flocked (is that the word?) by two leaves.....it's just perfect :)
We then went to a great Indian restaurant called Madras Masala to sample some US-based curries and oooooh baby......I know this sounds a bit backward but I loved it, cause it was just like Bob's homemade curries. A taste of home :) Fucking gorgeous samosas! Jake had paratha. Only thing was they didn't serve alcohol and the coke was a bit.....odd. Didn't finish mine but they didn't stop refilling the water glasses so that was okay.
I went over to Betty's when I got in and watched "From a Whisper to a Scream" with Vincent Price. Great horror stories set around this one small town. My fave bit was these kids playing "Pin the Limb on the Torso" where they gave a kid say a dismembered arm with a hook in it, spun him round and he had to attach it back in the right spot. I just love that idea - wish I'd thought of it.
*sombre note*
I am fully aware that murder and dismemberment are every day horrors for many unfortunate souls on our human-ridden planet and in no way do I glorify or find amusing such atrocities. It's easy to view such things as fun when shown in the spirit of entertainment whilst in the luxury of a safe life. For this I am humbled and thankful.

This a.m. Jake's gone to a tractor show with Grandpa and Grandma and we might be heading down to the Corner Brewery which is hosting the ShadowFair - a small, entirely local, art fair to counteract the masses at the main do. Will be good to see local art plus they've made a Shadow Brew just for the fair - one day only. Yay!
Blessings to all x x x

Estate Sale on Cottontail

Jean, Jake and I went to an estate sale today on Cottontail Lane. I've never been to one before and it made me feel like a vulture, rummaging through someone's house, asking how much stuff was. I don't know the circumstances of the sale, whether it was after a death or not - I've heard of them being done after a murder...anyway. Literally everything was for sale - the food in the cupboards, the clothes hanging in the closets, the old tools in the basement. A whole lifetime's worth of material accumulation.
I got some goodies though, so I'm happy :) A fan with blue blades for $3. I've cleaned her up, called her Fanny and she's looking so retro, I love her!
Some cocktail napkins by Playboy with cartoons of women on them...funny. Three out of 36 missing but they were only a dollar and from the 50s.
A cup and saucer that matches the memory box I got the other week. Turquoise and pinkiness....they look good together :)
An ashtray that has the sides all bent up into itself all curvy with gold leaf and flowery designs in the glass. Bits of blue and green...I dunno, I liked it. Gonna use it for keys though, not ash. Or maybe keep it empty.
Two gorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgeous cases. One looks to be a hat box, patent black fake snakeskin and sooo sexy and the other is a wide briefcase (about 7 inches) with separate compartments in it and good solid sides. They were both in such good condition I couldn't resist, the massive briefcase was only $3, the hatbox $5. Me's happy. I buy a lot of empty boxes and large cases, I wonder if there's any psychology behind that. I desire an empty head! Or I have one that needs filling.....whatever.
Jake got a little model of a 1917 car that's a pencil sharpener.
There was some beautiful antique furniture in there, some very odd 70s furniture and a wicked baby piano. I found a lovely large cupboard/sideboard thing with shelves in it and a drawer at the top behind the doors. It was $50 and even though it was a lot cheaper than the rest of the furniture, so obviously not antique, it was still a nice piece and a bargain, I reckon. Considering what the prices are even in cheap shops for something with doors on. So yay! First piece of furniture for our new home! Bob's not seen it yet, hope he likes it, although it's a bit late if he doesn't.
Should be going to the Art Fair this afternoon after Bob gets back from work :) *cracks open a Guinness*

Bars, Cops and Breakdowns

Last night I went over to Betty's at 9pm to go with her to meet Rosie at Applebee's. We were going to go to the carnival which had been at Pioneer high school since Thursday but Walt had told me it'd packed up and gone today so we changed our plans to a few drinks at the bar. Well, Applebee's is a restaurant but after nine the drinks and the entrees are half off! Yays! Long Island Ice Tea for $3 = happy women. We also had some Strawberry Margheritas with sugar round the rim instead of salt, which were good too, but like a milkshake so they went down way too fast. Only had two drinks but we had a good time. I've finished Red Dragon and Rosie was telling me that it's not the film adaptation of the same name I need to see, but an earlier one called Man Hunter which is better, freakier. So we set off for Hollywood Video to rent it, but they'd closed at 11 :( Deciding to go see if Betty had it in her On Demand on her TV we set off for her house (two doors downs from the Steffes) but Rosie hit a pothole in her car and it started making loud boy-racer sounds so she pulled over to check it. It turned out to be just a wobbly muffler (who hasn't had one of those?) but as we were all looking at it in this dark residential side street, the police pulled up along side us and asked if we "needed any assistance." Rosie explained what was going on, trying her best not to breathe on him, while Betty babbled on about us being English and he looked at the car. Making that kinda noise with a defective muffler is illegal and he told Rosie to get home but get it fixed immediately. She had just had it fixed in January, for $700 so she was a bit pissed it had fell off already. Anyway, the nice police officer told us to get home and take care. Phewph! We hadn't had a lot, but even one obviously is of concern.
Rose decided to get herself home as her mum was due back with her sister from Tokyo at 7am. I went back with Betty and we watched Needful Things. Oh how I've missed Mr Gaunt! I wanna read that book again. Was my first Stephen King and holds a special place in my heart. Even if the end was bonkers. The film end was a bit better, and Ed Harris was good as Alan Pangborn.
Halfway through the film Rosie rang saying she'd had six restricted phonecalls (she's had a few from the same guy who acts all familiar like he knows her but she doesn't recognise the voice) and was a little freaked. Betty thinks it might be a guy who worked at the hospital where Rosie and Betty used to work together (Rosie a nurse and Betty a clerk) who stalked Betty for a bit after getting her number from the hospital records. Hope not! But then, who else?
A question for you: Would you believe a surgeon if he told you poison ivy was not contagious? What if he had it on his dick? And he was there specifically to fuck?
I'd tell him to do himself and get the hell off. How can a surgeon get away with behaviour like that? Unacceptable.
Home Run Derby last night and Brandon Inge of the Tigers didn't get one :s
In other news, I have my Permanent Resident Card, an ID card with a holographic underside and a charming photo of myself. I have to carry it everwhere and it enables me to work etc. It expires in 2019 when I have to apply for a new one. I can apply for citizenship after five years' residency. Should I? I think I would go dual.
Missing English culture. 'Tis so different here. A good dose of something British would be great :) Internet just doesn't feel authentic. Could be a video of the Queen eating Yorkshire Pudding on top of Big Ben with Stephen Fry and the cast of Eastenders doing Morris Dancing and it still wouldn't cut it.
Love to all x

I allowed someone else's Agreements to get to me.

I reverted back to an old Self and tortured myself with half-truths. I listened to words from ignorant mouths and discounted my own intelligence. My own experience.
But what if I was wrong? What if the grass was greener, if never thought of? Who am I to say whose heart belongs to whom?

I soon realised I know better. He may have once jammed or drank but he never listened, or saw. England may have been a catalyst for a better or worse state, but if he was an insider, he'd have known which. Being left behind to stagnate will make you bitter.
I took your ignorance personally when I should have disregarded it as nothing to do with me and my own Dream. Your Agreements, your bullshit.
I'm not sorry I made him happy. I'm not sorry I'm not her. I'm not sorry you never tried to be a good friend.
You're probably exactly the same. Miserable, fat, emphysemic. Resisting growth and renewal, spitting on the world for not kissing your ass, creating lies to make yourself feel better that your life is shit, your wife's a bitch and your son has been drugged up since age two.
How could I have listened to a man like you? You know, and are, nothing. Go fuck yourself.

Independence Day

We had our Fourth of July (funny how they say the date for Independence Day the British way) on the Friday, so the workin' folk could have a full weekend and not have a Sunday hangover. By the time Bob and I got there the fire was already going and the mosquitos were in full swing. I tried to smoke myself with the fire to ward them off, but this did bugger all.
The gibbous moon was high and bright and I worked on my moontan for a while, downing some Poet beers and watching deer come in and out of the field. At one point there were six grazing on the grass, a few keeping watch on us. Fireworks kept scattering them so they eventually just stayed hidden.
Jake enjoyed his little ground fireworks we got on sale at Meijer and then it was time for the big ones. They went up above the trees and gave a good show. Gotta admit though: I prefer watching the fireflies' bums light up :)
Jake stayed up til about 12.30 and I wasn't long behind him. Bob, Jake and I stayed in the camper that stays out at the property. Bob stayed talking to his Uncle Jerry til 4.30 am.
A quiet Fourth of July - my second - but I was just happy to be here. It was a goal I'd set back when we first got our interview date for the Embassy and I thought maybe I'd been overly ambitious as July was only five months away. Got here sooner and had chance to settle in - madness.

Witter witter more than Twitter

Shake up shake up. Rejigged to include US-based musings. Enjoy. Ignore. Scour for secret love notes to yourself. Posts will be intermittent or all at once. Boring and mundane. Daft and melancholy. Irresponsible grammar, nonsense and rambling galore. Welcome.

Please, for my sake, if you come here and know any Faircloths, don't tell them about this blog. I want freedom and privacy from under their wing and would like to keep it that way. Thanks!